PRO GAMERZ : The Internet War
by SomeDamn Author
Summary: [MASSIVE CROSSOVER - Naruto, Bleach, DBZ, Harry Potter, Game Of Thrones, Death Note, Code Geass, SAO and more] When the world is threatened, a team shall rise to save it. Watch, as five pro gamers stop the evil villain taking over the Internet. Yes, you read this right.


**Hey there. Nothing much to say. Massive crossover. But this doesn't mean I'll be justifying every single universe I've crossed over. What I mean is that I've mere recruited characters from various fandoms for this story. **

**I think it is important to say that I'll be making fun, parodying, and criticizing every fandom I can. Please do not be offended. Every single character and universe I selected are all from anime and T.V Shows I love. **

**And now...It's time to pwn, n00b.**

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><p>The cellar was dark, damp. The lone light flickered in the corner. The air was heavy with silent cries, coated with despair. And amidst that despair, a single mouth twisted it's lips into the ghost of a cruel smile. His eyes sung of mirth, hands twisting and turning with barely suppressed madness. His visage trembled. He drew a deep breath, shuddering as he did so.<p>

Finally he turned around.

He flicked the switch.

He hit the power button.

He placed the gear on his head.

The cruel smirk on his face disappeared, only to be replaced by an exactly identical cruel smirk. The console hummed with ungodly vigor.

He tilted his back, and rested it on the designated place. Giving himself a second to relax, he lay still.

"Kirito in. It's time to pwn, n00b motherfucker."

* * *

><p>The roar of several voices shook the air. Cries of agony, of fervor, of excitement made their way through the Allied Shinobi Force.<p>

This was it, the final stretch. One last enemy remained, and the Fourth Great Call Of Counter-Strike War was theirs.

The wind lifted suddenly, and the silence silenced. Everyone stared in mute agony. The boy named Uzumaki Naruto stood still, hoping to God that whatever he was seeing was obviously some sort of Genjutsu Uchiha Madara had forced on them all.

"HAH! BITCHES BE LIKE, I LOVE YUR SWAG BRO, LOL!"

The blonde-haired boy recoiled in horror.

In his defense, the sight in front of him was not for the weak-minded.

Uchiha Madara was currently halfway through the process of tea-bagging Sasuke Uchiha to utter damnation. Ninjas far and near cowered in fear, lest they be tainted by the unholy sight. A few had even drawn out barf-bags out of their well-equipped Shinobi pockets to use Puke-no-Jutsu.

"Mate that ain't cool mate, pls."

A dry, battered voice spoke. It was Naruto himself, thoroughly fed up with this whole affair. Ever since the war had begun, Madara had constantly pwned them, left right and center.

"Fucking aimbotter. I'm done with this shit, y'hear? I'M DONE!"

Madara looked up at his enemy in shock.

"Done? Rage-quitting already?"

"Pretty much. You won. Take it. Shove it up your ass. Do what you want. I'm outta' here. Always was, you know. Ever since I received that letter from some dude who wanted me star in his-his-_fanfiction_, he called it?"

Murmurs broke out through the crowd.

Uzumaki Naruto was the one, then? He'd been selected to star in THE fanfiction? But…but what about the War?

Madara drew a deep breath.

"Fine then. Once, you know, even I'd been called," his voice was surprisingly calm, almost melancholy, "but I won't tell you about it…It's-It's better you see for yourself, Uzumaki. And now, I'll be off."

And with one last glorious teabag at Sasugay, Madara disappeared off into the sunset, to bigger and better things in life. Better, anyway, than being the sub-villain of a manga written by a man who didn't know when to stop jerking off on his sheet of paper.

The silenced seemed to weigh down on everybody.

"See you, then."

Naruto turned, ready to leave.

"N-n-n-n-arutt-i-;e57e4hdf," Hyuuga Hinata managed, a girl with the slowest internet connection in the world, who was so steeped in lag that the author fails to punctuate her sentences properly.

"O-i-id-don't-l-leave-me-ple-q453rc57"

"Chill babe," Naruto replied in a soothing voice, "tell your sister she was hot in bed. Oh, and Sakura-chan, there was that one time you saw Sasuke making out with Gamabunta, right? Not to scare you or anything, that was just me Henge'd into a toad to satisfy Sasuke's toad fetish."

And thus, delivering his highly cryptic send-off message, Naruto turned.

"GG, n00bs."

* * *

><p>"Toshi-ho, you take right flank! You, flower-power, you're on left flank! Weird professor-guy, you're on defense. Mark your man, be on him, get it? And finally, another-mainstream-manga-hero-who-has-a-random-power-up? Smash."<p>

This was met with encouraged and motivated looks from exactly no one.

"Bro bro bro bro bro…_bro,_" A slow voice drawled out from the background. "The hell you thinkin', m8? This Bleach, yo! We don't use none of your strategy shebang, geddit, lolz?"

A potato stepped out of the background.

"Here," he flipped aside a bang of his hair in slow-motion, "…we just slash at each other's shoulders and wait for the author to decide when to stop trollin', yo."

The deafening sound of no one giving a fuck screamed through the air.

"Anywayz, yo'z, I got here some kinda' letter for Ecchi-Gay Teriyaki-saki or something…"

Another-mainstream-manga-hero-who-always-has-random-power-ups-saving-his-gay-ass turned towards the swag-tato. "It's Ichigo, son of a bitch. Ichigo Hernandez."

"Okay, Ichigo Hernandez, yo, here, yo."

Ichigo Hernandez pulled off his sombrero, stopped eating his taco, and grabbed the letter. The entire battle, of course, had paused to see what this shit was all about, since anything was more interesting than the manga they were on.

'_Dear Itchy-gay Habanero (Sorry if I got your name wrong. I looked it up on the internetz)_

_This letter is to inform you to get your gay ass over to P.R.O GAMERZ building, New Yolk as soon as you can. Your services are deemed necessary. We have some good shit going down. And we have hot male strippers, which is what your kind seem to like. Cheerio._

_And New Yolk has been written with an 'l' to accommodate you azn tit-fags' ability to reprace it with an 'r'._

There was mute silence as Ichigo Hernandez read the letter out loud. Captain Byakuya Flower-Power let out a soft sigh.

"You only get one chance, Ichijo (Pronounced Ichi-ho). I'd advise you to go. It's a dire sign that the world is in danger, and your gaming skillz will be necessary to prevent the world as we know it from imminent destruction. This is, of course, an indication in itself tha-"

Unfortunately, by then, Ichigo Hernandez had already collected all his Mexican shit and had left. The only two people remaining were Byakuya and the Troll-God.

Troll God Sosuke looked at him with a look of lust in his eyes.

"It was…all in the plan."

And even as Ichijo (Pronounced Ichi-ho) rushed through the millions of photons of the space-time continuum, he couldn't help but feel happy. He had his taco with him.

* * *

><p>The skies roared. The winds trembled. The heavens shrieked. Hedwig farted.<p>

"WHAT THE FUK ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was…Dumblydore!

Harry Potter stared in horror at his ex-headmaster as he scrambled to his feet. He felt in his pockets for his wand, but could only find the Holly-and-Phoenix-Feather one, not his manhood.

"S-Sir! What are you doing here?"

The ominous silence seemed to magnify. Everyone stared at the sudden appearance. One second, Harry and Voldemort were circling each other, one of them waiting for the other to scream '_Allah Kedavra'_ or something like that, and the other to use the gay-ass disarming spell. But then, Hedwig had farted, and Dumbledore had appeared out of nowhere!

"Harry, my son. Let us touch wands."

A look of bewilderment crossed Harry's face. He stared at the old man. Had his age caught up to him, then? Was he finally going insane?

"_Sir,_" he whispered, "_not now!"_

"Oh…right, anyway, Harry. I'm here on behalf P.R.O GAMERZ, having been a pro gamer myself. I'm happy to say you've been selected! Now, shall we be off?"

Harry Potter stared into Dumbledore's g(r)ay eyes, as he let the words sink in.

"Does this mean, sir, that I can level up, and soon pwn n00bs like Lord Insert-tediously-long-useless-code-name-thingy-here ?"

"Yes, Harry. N00bs like him won't pose a challenge. Moreover, I have news that, for the first time evar, you will do this mission without your friends, Bronald Cheesley and Hermy Ranger."

"GAIZ, NO, PLZ, I'M COMING GAIZ, WAIT!"

Hermiony Danger was coming running up to them, sensing through her super math-nerd skillz, what Harry had received was indeed an invitation to join the secret organization, P.R.O GAMERZ.

"Fuck this! GO GO GO!"

He hurriedly snatched the Portkey from Dumbledore. Turning to look at the others' shocked faces for a split-second, a wry smile played across his face.

"So long, broz and hoz…I'll be back, and _Expelliarmus"_, he pointed at Draco Malfoy's crotch, relishing the look of horror as the blonde-haired boy lost his wand, and thereby saving a million people because there could no more Drarry fanfics.

'_Finally…' _he dusted himself, as swam through the portal.

All was well.

* * *

><p>He breathed, slowly at first.<p>

He was leaning carelessly on the wooden railings on his porch. Legs lay outstretched, and one arm was curled up into a fist, something, he found, always comforted him, ever since his childhood.

The man smiled wryly as the blunt flavor of the rubicund wine hit the back of his throat. Pausing to look up, he brought the vessel to his lips again, and sipped gently, without a sound.

"So will you, my brother? Will you join our noble cause to save the world? I have explained all I can. It is, now, up to you. You can choose to rot here forever, abandoned by your author, forgotten by your kin, as your blade rusts…or you may join P.R.O. GAMERZ, the coolest motherfucking place on the planet. Cooler…colder, actually, than Winterfell itself.

Eddard Stark looked up.

"As long as I don't get killed again, I am with your cause."

He stood up, wiping the blood off his blade, the Game Of Thrones music in the background.

(_DA-dun DuDa Da-dun DuDa DA-dun DuDa- GOD THAT SOUNDS EPIC.)_

The two of them left.

* * *

><p>We move now, to the Headquarters of the P.R.O GAMERZ. The lights are dark, in order to put forward the seriousness of the situation. The world itself, was going to come under attack by the Nemesis, and nothing, <em>nothing<em> could stop it.

Except, of course, P.R.O. GAMERZ.

"And so, my friends," he addressed the motley band of queers in front of him. "THIS, is your duty."

They stared at him, the five of them. Five of them, then…Five people who had the power to save the world itself. Five people, who, when working together, would be absolutely unstoppable.

On the far left, stood Uzumaki Naruto. A ninja by birth, he had speed, and cool ninja-like stealth at his aid.

Next to him, tall and lean, stood Ichigo Herna-sorry. Ahem. Kurosaki Ichigo stood. A Soul Reaper, he had the ability to fly and shit, and shoot cool-looking stuff out of his sword, which sounds totally wrong.

And then, in the center, stood Harry Potter. He gazed confidently at the others, fingering his wand, which is totally not wrong, you sick bastards.

Anyway, Harry was wizard. He could dazzle anyone with his magical prowess, which included a powerful arsenal consisting entirely of a single spell.

And to his right, stood the lone warrior, a man who'd seen the best and worst…Eddard Stark. The man was calm and collected, and his strategies were supposedly unbeatable.

And finally, a character who the author didn't have any funny introductions for stood, emitting pure badassery.

He could pwn. He could kick your n00b ass all the way to last week, with his sheer brutal force.

Short, yet intimidating, he spoke just once.

"Pride."

No one gave a flying shit, of course, to Vegeta. They would, soon, though. He was, after all, now a P.R.O GAMERZ.

"Welcome, my brothers, to P.R.O GAMERZ. I apologize for having pulled each of you from your respective worlds, rather abruptly. You see, the world, as we know it, will soon be under attack. From who, we only have a vague idea of. However, there is hope yet! Five of you, the Five P.R.O GAMERZ, will, under my guidance, ROUT this foolish oppressor."

Silence met the strange monologue. Finally, Ichigo spoke.

"Uh…erm…what's this P.R.O. GAMERZ all about, anyway?"

"You see, my friends, you are…you _are…_" he paused for dramatic effect as Vegeta snapped his fingers, yawning.

"The Power Rangers Organization. P.R.O. for short. You are…the Power Rangers…of love, for that is the only force that can conquer the darkness.

A series of retching sounds followed, as the five recruits threw up. Harry recovered first.

"You remind me of- never mind. Why GAMERZ, though?"

"BECAUSE!" he pointed to the side, towards five curiously gleaming contraptions.

"Each of you will be trained…to enter the world this villain has created. This scheming mongrel, the villain, dares to name his world. He calls it…'The Internet' It is, a curious type of…_virtual_ reality, shall we say. This man…he plans to take over the _entire_ world, through only this piece of trash. Our goal…is to enter The Internet, and _BREAK _ it apart!"

The Five GAMERZ nodded, finally understanding the weight of it all.

* * *

><p>The man named Kirito observed the two boys lying on the ground, writhing in agony. After a while, he spoke,<p>

"Scheming Emperor Tit-Fag The First?"

Light Yagami looked up, amazement crossing his palor as he gazed upon Kirito.

"Scheming Emperor Tit-Fag The Second?"

Lelouch Lamperouge looked up now, abandoning the pain of having been killed by some gay-ass fag named Shoezaku or something.

"Join Me."

* * *

><p>Back at P.R.O GAMERZ Headquarters, the silence slowly came to a stand-still.<p>

"But mate…who, if I may ask, are you?"

Harry Potter's question brought attention to the matter at hand. Everyone gazed at the wizened old face of their leader. This guy was cool, no denying it. He was built, yet old and wrinkly. He had an odd hat on his head, and a lurid pink T-Shirt that said '_Go Wild, Go Sexy'_ with two females in rather provocative positions. He wore a mini-skirt that did nothing to hide his sexy tanned legs.

"My name…" he drew out a pair of totally cool shades from his underwear, and put it on in slow-mo.

"...Yolo Swaggins. From the Fellowship Of The Bling. Mighty pleased to meet you."

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><p><strong>End.<strong>

**On a short term basis, is there a game you would like to read parodied?**


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